What To Do When Others Won’t Help You Live Righteously
(A Better Perspective Towards Unrighteous Living People)
Just a week or two ago my wife and I spent the weekend with some friends from way back. These are friends with whom we spent several years in discipleship together. We walked together in singlehood. We’ve been friends for years. They love the Lord Jesus and for the most part, they endeavor to please Him by the way they live. It was good to be with them. While we were with them, we just enjoyed their company. Our righteousness and theirs was never challenged because we are good Christian folks. The people in my church for the most part love Jesus and want to please Him. Being with them in fellowship is refreshing and enjoyable. There are very little challenges to my righteousness. I love them and enjoy their fellowship. People like my church family and our friends are not the people about whom I am writing. The people about whom I am writing are irritable, obnoxious, prideful, argumentative, stingy, lazy, irresponsible, hard to get along with, negative, unforgiving, pugilistic, and all that describes people who rub us the wrong way. This group also includes the unsaved, the violent, the abortion minded, the gender affirming, and the unruly. It does not leave out the unloving, the abuser, and those who are irreconcilable. I must include those who lack common sense. They get on my left and right nerve. I fail not to mention the classic narcissist. It’s impossible for me to exhaust the list of the type of people that can rub us the wrong way, but you get the picture. No doubt there is a person or people in your life that fit these descriptions. As a committed Christian, being around these people can be difficult because they rub us the wrong way. There is something about them that gets on our last nerve. This writing isn’t about them. It is about how God uses these people in our lives to help conform us into the image of Jesus. If we are only around our good church family and friends like those whom I mentioned in the introduction, our relationship with Jesus would be great. Our righteousness would flourish. All Christians need to be around good Christians who can strengthen us in our walk. However, some of God’s greatest transforming work in our lives comes through interacting with “the people who bring out the worse in us.” When these people bring out “the worse in us” by either raising our anger, or irritating us with their speech, actions, or attitudes, they revealed something in us that hinders us from being more like Jesus. These people reveal our need for greater transformation and a better walk in righteousness. Col 4:6 tells us, “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” The manner and spirit in which we respond or relate to these people can be indicators of our need for more transformation. As a former teacher, I can remember one student that irritated me very badly. She was rude, obnoxious, vulgar, and loud. I began to be very harsh with her. The Lord showed me that the real reason I was so harsh with her was because I had no love for her. Unlike the other students who were more obedient, amenable, or easier to “love,” this young lady was a piece of work. When I repented and went to her and apologized for how harsh I had been with her, amazingly I began to see her differently. I was able to work with her more compassionately and professionally. Believe it or not, she began to change. Her actions and mannerism became the instrument that revealed my need to grow in loving people. The real issue was not how bad she was, but how unrighteous I was. There may be people in your life that you cannot stand to be around. Their quirks irk you to no end. Could it be that they are God’s instrument in your life to reveal your need for growth in righteousness? If there are people around you who are like those on that list, it may be they are God’s instruments in your life to make you more like Him. So instead of looking at how unrighteous they are, (they could be very unrighteous), ask God to show you why you feel the way you do about that person. Ask God to help you relate to them in a way glorifies Him. The psalmist prayed this prayer in Ps 139:23-24. Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! 24 And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting! Your irritation, anger, thoughts, or whatever about their unrighteousness, personality, or attitude could very well reveal a hidden need in your life for more transformation. When others seem to bring out the unrighteousness in you, it may be our sovereign God is using them to cause you look inward and ask Him to bring about the changes in your life necessary to make you relate to them the way Jesus would. The next time that person is in your presence being or doing what you don’t like, God is at work in you for His glory by letting them see Christ in you.
Think about it!
Rev. Robinson
